Half

Covid had more to answer for than just a pandemic, it split families, broke down social connections, destroyed businesses overnight, ICU and hospitals were stretched beyond maximum capability and capacity, people lost their jobs and the loss of life was astronomical. We were confined to our homes for weeks and some of us for months.

On the up side those businesses that had e-com facilities absolutely thrived, home deliveries became the norm and those that lost their jobs in other sectors filled the demand for delivery drivers and e-com hubs. Mother Nature started to heal its self after centuries of humanity destroying it and one other thing that came to light was the not so talked about mental health issues.

Many of us were not used to being locked away for hours, days, weeks and some of us totally shielded for months at a time with little to no human interaction. I remember my grandchildren not understanding why they could not hug their grandads and could only see them from the other side of a window or standing at the end of the drive. The trauma this caused for them was equally upsetting for us as it was for them. My husband and I were in the shielding group and we was lucky to have a garden as that became our only outdoor space. We would only go outside of a night when other folk were not about for fear of catching something airborne sent over the fence, we would sanitise all delivered mail, online purchases and food deliveries, masks became the norm for us when we did finally venture out but the biggest problem was mental breakdowns.

Our only source to the outside world was the internet and the TV but after seeing nothing but death and devastation everyday worldwide we made the decision to remove ourselves from it. 

I slowly slipped into more than a depression, it actually changed me from the outgoing person to the hermit and the unheard of metal health was something I now suffered with during my every waking moment, I would sleep for days in a bid to escape it but eventually that didn’t work.

After many months of suffering I finally got help and was put onto Sertraline and with the steady increased dosage to nearly the max I slowly became a ‘couldn’t care less’ person, my woes but also my zest for life disappeared thanks to this new drug.

That was back in 2019 and now its 2024 and I am still on Sertraline, I am at a much more controlled dose and I feel I am ready to stop taking them as there are still things that my mind and body refuse to do simply because I have these drugs in my system. 

With health services still recovering from the effects of Covid and medical professionals having to change how they deal with patients, it has come to my attention that getting the help I need quickly to make such decisions is something best done on my own rather than taking away a much needed appointment that could go to someone that needs it more than I do and also the waiting time very much still exists.

Over many months I have reduced my intake of Sertraline in a safe and controlled manner and now I am down to 50mg with today making the choice to cut that pill in half once more with the intention in a month or so’s time to be Sertraline free and back to my former self.

Here goes.